It’s 11:33 right now… wayyy past my bedtime.
Why, oh why, am I still up?
Well, I had a panic attack. Yes, one of THOSE. It was the, “how in the WORLD am I going to pay my way through college?” panic attack.
I hate when that happens. I spend hours, literally HOURS looking up tuition costs, textbook costs, scholarships, grants, loans… yadda-yadda-yadda.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to research. But I am getting SICK of this constant worry. It is taking OVER my mind.
Here’s the deal. I want to take summer classes, right? I only signed up for two… TWO. And they’re ONLINE. I thought to myself, “self, you can pay for a COUPLE of summer ONLINE classes… no big deal.” Ha. Turns out those two classes, plus the books, will be well over $1,000.
So tonight, the worrying and stress was at its max. All the girls should understand… max meaning MENTAL BREAKDOWN. An all-too-common experience for me, if I do say so myself.
But then I did something that I don’t do enough…
You see, there’s this corner in my room. Before that corner was reserved for a “junk shelf” … basically a place to put the all stuff that I had nowhere else to put. Then the other day I decided that I needed a quiet space… a ME space. So I took out the shelf, threw away a lot of the junk, and got this:
It’s my space. I have a basket sitting there, which I like to call the “inspirational” basket. It’s filled with only inspirational things: books, bibles, journals, and markers to color with (smile!). Then on the other side of my corner, I have my stereo… which makes the perfect spot to just put on worship music while I read, journal, or crochet (my new hobby… yay to new hobbies!)
But tonight, I used that corner to just… think. I turned off EVERYTHING in my room, even the fish-tank filter… so that there was COMPLETE silence. I sat there, closed my eyes, and just TALKED to God.
I talk to God a lot. But, unfortunately, I don’t talk to him in COMPLETE silence. So how am I supposed to hear HIM when I can barely hear myself?
That’s what is so wonderful about my little corner. I can turn off EVERYTHING, and just tune into HIM.
Tonight I just cried out to God about my worries, and then I just LISTENED.
And you know what? I felt SO much better afterwards. That stress and worrying, it all went away. My head is cleared from thinking about money, and school, and life… I was able to actually FOCUS on God.
Why don’t we… well really, why don’t I, do that more often? Completely FOCUS on God. Completely turn off any OUTSIDE noise, and just LISTEN. It’s so wonderfully refreshing.
So the question of the day is, Do you have a “you corner?” A place where you can just fully listen to God with no distractions? A place where you can just CURL UP, close your eyes, and BE with God?
Let me tell ya, if you don’t… you should find a corner… it’ll be worth it, I promise!
And now, it’s midnight. Even more past my bedtime. But that’s okay with me. I know that God has everything in control.
Goodnight, and SWEET DREAMS!