This yearnin' feeling

FACT: I am yearning for something.

I think that I am always yearning for something. For something more.

Sometimes the yearning is to do something to somehow 'better' this world. To give myself meaning, maybe?

Sometimes the yearning is to go on adventures (which is really hard/frustrating with a limited budget). Maybe I do this to prove myself?

Sometimes the yearning is to just stop everything I’m doing. Leave everything I’ve accomplished. Run away, and start anew (preferably somewhere with a beach).

…

Yearning.

If you take away the “y”, “a”, “r”, “i”, “g”, and move the “e” and “n’s”, and add a “u”, “c”, “o”, two “t’s”, two more “e's”, a "d", another “n”, and two “s’s” you come up with a word that isn’t even a word according to word (I know, dumb, right?).

Uncontentedness: the act of not being content.

…

Here’s the dealio, folks:

This ‘yearning’ feeling that I feel (and I’m pretty darn sure you feel it too. Yes, you) is natural. I think as humans we are born to yearn for something… more. Something… greater.

And sometimes we forget that this something ‘more’ and something ‘greater’ is literally right in front of us, and behind us, and to the right of us, and to the left of us, and above us, and below us, and inside us.

(hint: He’s called God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, Father, YHWH, Abba…)

HE is where our yearning should lie. HE is where we should find our contentment. Even if life throws you curve-balls, even if people around you fail, even if you want to do something better, go on adventures, be someone different, even if you realize that there’s not enough cheese in the refrigerator to put on that quesadilla you’ve been craving.

RUN to Him. GRASP Him. LOVE Him. Let Him HOLD you. Let Him GUIDE you.
Let Him fulfill your yearning. Let Him be your content. 

It’s Challenge for Corrie time:

(side note: in my head I’m currently playing this epic theme song while I bust through a door and yell: “CHALLENGE FOR CORRIE TIME!!!”)

When I’m yearning to make the world a better place: serve others (in my home, in my neighborhood, in my city).

When I’m yearning to go on an adventure: spend time in the surrounding beauty with my Bible.

When I’m yearning to run away: look around at the many, MANY blessings God has placed in my life.

When I’m yearning… go to HIM.

smiles. 

disclaimer: pretty much every time I 'blog', I usually start it by complaining, or whining, or wanting to write about a disagreement. And usually, as I write I start to get a different perspective on things. God gracefully and slowly shows Himself to me as I write. For some reason or another I see how some of my 'original blogging thoughts' are... um... dumb. idiotic. no-good for nobody.
(Seriously, This blog post was originally 2-times as long before I deleted the first half). 

So praise be to God who gives me a new perspective on life, and allows me to sleep with a peaceful mind rather than with an upset mind. 

And if no one else gets anything out of this little ol' blog of mine, then that's okay. Because I usually learn something new as I write. So selfishly, this blog is for me. But I thank thee for reading it as well. Through the ramblings and all, God bless your beautiful and patient soul. 

On Respecting Authority

A topic that has been brought up several times this past semester, and something that I have been thinking a lot about is on the subject of respecting authority.

No matter our status, we will ALWAYS have authority. Whether that be parents, teachers/faculty, bosses, or the government… authority is always there.

And even if you’re at the top of authority in the world, there’s still God.

So no matter who you are, or where you are- there will be authority. And with that, there will ALWAYS be disagreements and conflicts.

The Bible teaches us to respect authority, to submit to authority.

There have been many instances at this school, and even with the government where I so easily get mad at the authority, complain about the authority, and talk bad about the authority. And frankly, that’s just me spreading rumors and gossip.

I don’t know what goes on behind the scenes with the people “up there”. Sure, maybe their actions are not the best. Maybe their intentions aren't good.

But who am I to talk bad about them? They were put in that position because they were QUALIFIED. Smart people choose these authority figures. They did not just choose a random person walking down the street. They deliberated, they reviewed, they researched, they interviewed, they tested. And the authority figures that we have now passed all of them.

So this is my challenge to others, but especially to myself:

Instead of saying negative things about our leaders to others, instead of complaining, instead of not respecting them… what if we prayed for them? They need prayer… there is so much POWER in prayer.

Can you imagine if we all prayed for our leaders instead of complained about them? Wow. Instead of human hands working, God will be working. And that is a beautiful thing.

And if we do have those complaints, talk to those leaders. Approach them, ask them questions. Figure out the reasons behind why they are doing things the way they are doing them.

And ya, there are some leaders that we can’t approach. So again I say, PRAY FOR THEM. What good does complaining do? Nothing. But oh, what GOOD will come by praying for them.

I pray that I learn to better respect my authority and leaders. I pray that I better understand them more. And I pray that God can do powerful things through them.

With God, we can move mountains. 

My Time is God's Time.

Conviction of the week:

I am selfish of my time. I treat it as an idol.

As an introvert, I thrive on time alone. And that’s fine and dandy, but am I using my introverted-ness as an excuse?

Because last I checked, my time is not my own.

My time is God’s time. Am I using God’s time to Glorify Him? Or am I using God’s time to take one more nap, to check facebook one more time, to procrastinate on homework a little longer?

Unfortunately, ya… I am.

My time is God’s time, and God’s time should be used to grow His kingdom, to build solid relationships, to grow spiritually.

Time is always there, yet it’s gone in a split-second.
Time is such a simple word, yet such a powerful word.

Am I spending my time wisely, or foolishly?
Am I abusing it, and taking it for granted? Or grasping onto each second?

My time is God’s time, and there’s no better time to use my time than now.  

One last goodbye

Ex, schmecks, schmecky schmeck schmeckers, poopy, poop-face, baby boy…

Echo.

The dog with many names, oh how I will miss calling him those.

I never thought that I would devote a blog post to my dog, but I also never knew that it would hurt this much.

Pets suck. They make you fall in love with them. They cuddle with you. They give you unexpected kisses. They wag their tails. They run around and have fun.

Then they get old. They still get excited when you walk in the door; it’s just a little slower.
Then they get even older, and that excitement turns into a simple head lift as their tired body is lying down.

And then they get to the point where you can tell they are suffering. And you know you have to take them to the vet, but you don’t want to because you know what the outcome is going to be.  And every part of your body wants you to be selfish and make them stay with you longer… just one more day. But you know you can’t. You know what’s best.

And that sucks.

Around 10:00am Wednesday the 15^th, I had to say goodbye to my puppy one last time. I had to squeeze him one last time. I had to give him a kiss one last time.

This dog… the dog that has been with me through my awkward Jr. High years. The one who was there throughout high school. The one who welcomed me back from Sweden. The one who I got to see for just one more day when I came back from college.

This dog has managed to break my heart.

I knew this day was coming, and I tried to prepare myself. As I was making the 9 hour car trip back home on Tuesday, I knew it most likely would happen this summer… I thought that I wanted him to pass before I got home. I knew how hard it would be for me to have to say goodbye to him, knowing it would be my last time. But now that his time has actually come, I am so thankful that I got one more night with him, and that I got to hold him one more time.

I never knew one little dog could make me cry so much.

He will be missed.

I love you poop-face. 

Going to a Christian College

Since the beginning of my existence, I have lived a pretty sheltered life. I went to nice middle-class (mostly Christian) schools, had a steady family dynamic, had a good relationship with my church, lived in a safe neighborhood… you get the point. I've had it easy.

So I was always nervous about the possibility of going to a Christian college. Because I thought to myself, “you need to experience the un-sheltered, ‘real-world’ life”.

For a long time that is what I seriously thought… that I need to experience an environment that was completely un-sheltered, where I was around people that lived a different life-style than me.

Why did I have these feelings, one will never know. But I had them, and they were there.

But oh how happy I am to know that those feelings did not get in the way of me attending a Christian college.

My grandma was admitted to the hospital last night, and is going to have heart surgery tomorrow…

                        1. I am SO thankful that I am going to school only an hour away.
      2. I am SO thankful that I am going to a school with amazing students, and amazing teachers.

To tell a professor why you won’t be in class tomorrow, and getting a reply that says, “I’m praying, keep me updated” means the world to me. They honestly care about me. That’s something special.

And then to have a professor (who isn’t your adviser  know your major, and email you job or volunteer opportunities geared toward that major. Wow.

Or like this morning, as I was taking a midterm at 7:30am. Not only did our professor bring in coffee, water, orange juice, donuts, and muffins… but he walked around the room giving us refills and picking up our trash as we were filling out our answers.

They care about me, and about my future. Seriously, you can’t beat that.

Maybe I have lived a “more sheltered” life than others. Maybe I have yet to experience the ‘real-world’ and all that comes with it. But instead of wanting to have those experiences, I am learning to just be thankful for the maybe sheltered life I am living now. Because I have no doubt in my mind that they are preparing me and my heart for whatever is to come, and that is a beautiful, amazing thing. 

GUYS, I'm in Omaha...

Well hello there.

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything on here. I have two excuses:
1. I was writing on another blog whilst in Sweden (www.corriegoestosweden.blogspot.com)
2. After coming home from Sweden I just never had anything too… exciting… to write about.

So a little update in one sentence- Ready…GO:

I came home from Sweden, hung out for four months, and then started College in Omaha, Nebraska.

Pretty exciting, eh?

So I’m here now in Nebraska. It doesn't have quite the same charm as Sweden, but it has its own beauty. Like the sunrises and sunsets, the trees in the fog, the super super nice people EVERYWHERE (except for the lady that honked at me that one time… that wasn't very nice…).

I’m studying Christian Camping at Grace University. Here’s how a normal conversation goes when I tell people about what I’m doing:

People: “What? You’re studying how to go camping as a Christian?”
Me: “no, no, no. I’m studying the ministry that is Christian camping.”
People:  “Oh, so you’re going to run a camp someday?”
Me: “no, not necessarily. I am going to learn how to work in a team of awesome people who together use their talents to run camps. I’m going to learn how to be a part of ministry. I’m going to learn how to tell people about Jesus.”
People: “oh, cool.”

Yes, cool.

So far I have met some great people, and am loving my classes. I have been in Omaha for almost 2 weeks (it’s weird cause part of me feels like I've been here longer, but another part of me feels like the time has gone by so fast already).  I think I’m past that awkward, “hi, I’m Corrie. I’m new. And I have absolutely no clue what I’m doing” stage. At lease I hope I’m past that. I’m meeting new people, making new friends, figuring out how to work my way around the really confusing campus layout.

It’s a work in progress. And I know it will take time. But I am so blessed by these last 2 weeks and everything that has happened so far! I’m excited to see where the rest of this semester will lead me!

Woo Hoo!

There you have it. Hopefully I’ll keep using this blog to document my journey throughout this new step in my life. Be excited! (or don’t be excited, I would never want to force anything on you… ) J  

weekend

this weekend I plan to sleep.
and sleep some more.

well that, and attack the laundry pile that stares me down every time I enter my room.

and maybe start I'll start to collect supplies for Sweden.

Speaking of Sweden, go here.

There's also a really good possibility I'll bake some cookies.

or just make the cookie dough, and skip the baking part. We'll see.

either way, I'm counting on a low-key weekend.

(and snow!)

>>>

on another note, I was working on some stuff at work today (imagine that), and a little town called Elephant Butte popped up.
admit it, when you first read it you read Elephant Butt, not ButtE.
HA. It's the little things.